About two years ago, I started sharing my experiences in fitting rooms on social media because I knew that I could not be the only one experiencing a multitude of negative emotions when shopping for clothes. I am a plus-size woman whose closet consists of clothing anywhere from size Large to 2X. I’m pretty sure if you look in your own closet, you can see a similar pattern, or rather, lack thereof.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, vanity sizing is “The practice of assigning smaller sizes to articles of manufactured clothing than is really the case, in order to encourage sales.”

Well, let’s say you walk into Store A and grab a pair of jeans in a size 6. You try them on, love them, and decide to purchase them. Maybe sometime later during your visit to the mall, you walk into another store, Store B. The jeans are on sale so you grab a size 6 and try them on, even though you’re thinking, “I know they’ll fit, I just want to make sure the length works for me.” As you put one pant leg on after the other, start to pull, then tug, and then yank the jeans up past your thighs, you realize there is no way in hell you’ll be able to zip these up. If this resonates with you, then you’ve experienced vanity sizing first hand.

Vanity sizing, which affects all genders and sizes, can and has had a largely negative effect on shoppers. Many times we’re simply lost when shopping for clothes, especially if we’re shopping online or at a retailer that is new to us. Now, you may say, “I’m typically a size 10, but I can’t shop at ABC store because their clothes run small/large.” That point is valid and true, but what we need to understand when shopping is that we must be open to moving up and/or down the spectrum without guilt or shame.

Maybe you are a size 10 at most stores. But what about that one store that always has the most beautiful dresses that you have always dreamed of twirling around in but can’t get your boobs into a size 10? Maybe you’re a size 12 or 14 in that particular store. And that is OKAY!

As much as we can demand retailers to come up with a uniform system of sizing, it goes beyond that. It’s more important to come to terms with the fact that we are not going to fit into cookie-cutter clothes. Just think, your favorite blouse is probably one of the thousands that were made. So how is that one item supposed to fit thousands of different beautiful bodies?

Many, including myself, will sometimes avoid some styles, looks, or trends that appeal to us because we think our size isn’t readily available. That is how we, without realizing, stop ourselves from reaching our style potential.

Have you ever stopped in your tracks because you see in the distance, the most stylish looking individual, wearing an outfit you would love to wear but figure you’d only fit into the shoes? Guess what? You can be that person!

In other words, we need to detach our self-worth from clothing labels and focus on what makes us feel most like ourselves. Our style should not be defined for us.

As a size 14, sometimes it’s tough for me when I’m shopping in a store that doesn’t carry anything larger. So yeah, I’ve walked out of those stores completely bummed out. But I try to remind myself that it isn’t because my body isn’t worthy or capable of style. It’s literally just a piece of fabric that didn’t work for my unique, strong, and beautiful body.

I challenge you, the next time you walk into a store to shop for clothes, forget about the sizing rules you’ve set for yourself and instead, shop for what makes you feel like you. If it helps, before hanging up your new clothes in your closet, cut off the size labels. When you get dressed in the morning, you wear what you want, and not what size you think you are that day.

Practice this and hopefully, you’ll notice that shopping for clothes will become fun again, and maybe, you’ll even want to go into that fitting room.