Recently I attended a virtual speed dating event sponsored by My Cheeky Date. I had never participated in a speed dating event in person because I didn’t have a crew of girlfriends to decompress with at the end. I found that speed dating virtually was a good simulation of the real thing. Which means, I would have had a better time washing my hair instead.

On a Saturday evening, I logged into a screen with a sea of faces with dodgy reception. Our hostess provided us with the basics: everyone will be meeting for six minutes and for any technical issues, there was an option to email and/or chat with someone during the event. After a brief introduction, we were sent off into our breakout sessions.

I’m not sure how long the organizers cobbled together these virtual events because the interface looked as if I was in a Yahoo chat room, circa 1999 with a camera (remember, asl? simple times). The countdown above each person’s camera wasn’t always available due to the way I had to scroll the page to make sure I saw the person’s name and timer. For a handful of the dates, they couldn’t see my name or notice when our time was up.

Each date filled our six minutes (and counting down) with small talk and we only had six minutes! Additionally, we only had a 20-second break between each date. No space to have a drink (I was drinking, for sure), or even go to the restroom. It didn’t help that I couldn’t even flaunt my hair because if I didn’t have my clunky Beats headphones on, I would hear feedback from everyone.

Needless to say, I didn’t make a memorable connection. The forced expectation to connect with someone in such a short amount of time proved ineffective. Did anyone really connect during this event? Important to mention — the weekend I attended, the protests against police brutality taking place became more widespread therefore, I only chatted with six men. The event organizers emailed notifying me that fewer folks showed up than confirmed. If I chose to attend another speed dating event, it would be complimentary.

Should y’all take the plunge and throw down $25 (or more) of the hard-earned cash you are barely using because you and everyone else is quarantining at home on a virtual speed dating event? I say a hard pass. Considering how upfront and thirsty everyone has been for any kind of connection, there are better options on the dating apps.