Leesa Cross-Smith’s This Close To Okay By: Paloma Lenz
I’m a fan of slow burners – books that take time to build characters and slowly reveal who they are and why before erupting in climactic and cathartic revelations. In This Close to Okay, Leesa Cross-Smith achieves exactly that.
And she does so by having each of the characters connect by focusing on “big talk” – conversations that avoid banalities and waste time.
The book opens when Tallulah spots a man on a bridge. It’s a Thursday night and the rain is coming down in buckets. She sees the figure of a man on the other side of the railing over a rushing river below and immediately stops her car. Tallie, as she’s known the rest of the book, approaches the figure to draw him away from whatever he is about to do and is eventually successful, welcoming the soaking man into her car and driving him to a local cafe.
From the outset, words matter. Saying the wrong thing might push the stranger away, so using her skills as a therapist, Tallie is intentional with her word choice and questions and makes mental notes on his behavior and reactions.
“Bridge” is the name that Tallie gives him in her head. Eventually, he reveals his name to be Emmett. Their story unfolds in five parts and shifting perspectives. The questions or peculiarities one perspective raises for one character are then answered by the other person’s inner thoughts.
The conversations they share were my favorite part of their time together because, unlike small talk which is often weighed down by hesitancy or caution, the big talk these two shared was a unique opportunity for both characters to reveal parts of themselves, past traumas, loss, grief, hopes, and passions in a very short time. There is something safe about opening up to a stranger about secrets. They have no context on which to judge you, and with the right kind of stranger, you feel like you can almost reveal anything. And that’s the kind of openness we get from these two characters. This choice allowed them to quickly connect on a deeper level.
Now, I’m not saying it’s all sunshine and rainbows between these two. There are a few secrets kept from the other and that’s what makes the second part even better. By Part Five I absolutely could not put the book down until I reached the last page.
Cross-Smith’s story is about more than two people finding each other at just the right time. It’s about them also being reminded of reasons for hope, reasons to live, and reasons to believe in the power of love. By the end of the book, I was also reminded that no matter how dark the tunnel might seem, there is always a source of light we can draw from within ourselves. In these times, this reminder is beyond important – it can be life-saving.