The Science Behind Finding The One By: Dani Santos-Price

A Q&A developed which may help singles navigate the murky waters towards The One. Are there any single men out there? Where? Between 1990 and 2016, the number of single households increased a staggering 65% from 23 to 35 million. The cities with the highest number of singles include: Atlanta, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, and Washington D.C respectively. The states with the highest population of singles are New York 29.9%, California 24%, and Texas 25%.

How do I meet a quality person?
According to “How couples meet and stay together” a 2012 study by Rosenfeld and Thomas, 30% of long-term couples were introduced by mutual friends; 20% met at bars/restaurants; 20% met online; 30% through shared activities/groups and this last particular group had the most lasting relationships.

If you are already crunched for time and hesitate to join any type of group or extra activity, consider asking friends to play matchmaker if you trust their judgement enough. If you can spare some time to get out there and mingle try new places where you may potentially meet The One: golf courses, crossfit gyms, sport centers, alumni events, conferences, festivals, language classes, political rallies. If you want to combine your volunteer interest with the opportunity to find The One, try a singles volunteer group meet.up.com.

What qualities should I look for?
The One will be different for everyone; however, a 2008 survey, conducted by sociologists at the University of Iowa, found that women ranked the following qualities in men in the following order:

#1. Financially stable
#2. Healthy
#3. Ambitious
#4. Likeable to them
#5. Likeable to friends
#6. Intelligent/Educated
#7. Family-oriented values
#8. Maturity
#9. Dependability/Trustworthiness
#10. Attraction/Chemistry

According to eHarmony, a leading online dating site, the top five signs of a good husband are:

  • How he treats people: tells you whether he is respectful or conversely apathetic
  • How he handles work: workaholics may have priority issues
  • How he deals with stress: Does he have a temper? Can he communicate well?
  • How supportive he is: Is he controlling? Does he value your input?
  • How you meet: Your bond will be greater if you have common interests/groups

While serendipity may plan for you to trip and stumble into your soulmate’s arms in a supermarket (a la Hollywood film), chances are, you’re probably going to be making a more conscious effort toward meeting your special someone. Enlisting your friends help may be fun if you feel confident they know you well enough to make good matches. On the other hand, bad matches, could make for good laughs too!

You’ll get a boost of self-confidence from volunteering and meeting like-minded people including The One (fingers crossed 🤞🏻)! Once you meet the person who you think just may be your other-half, keep those good qualities you looked for in mind and don’t settle for anything less than being happy!