I am a child of incest. It began at the age of five and continued well into my high school years. At the time, I learned to live in survival mode; teaching myself how to compartmentalize my hurt and pain and manage to exist in everyday life. I can honestly tell you that I can cast blame on many people, beginning with my mom who struggled to be a parent, my grandmother who raised her three children and lived in denial, teachers who ignored the bruises, and myself for creating a fantasy family in place of the real one I was in.

It has taken years to peel back layer after layer of the emotional scars that I have lived with. The mother who wanted nothing to do with me, to this very day I struggle to remember one memory of her telling me she loved me. My brother who was my perpetrator and manage to put me in a vulnerable state for the majority of my life and most importantly myself. I have to unlearn all of my upbringings, to stop all of the negative self-talk that tries to convince me that I am not lovable or worthy enough. To learn to love myself more than anyone has ever loved me before in order to love someone else.

Sharing this chapter in my life is why the FWord Project was created. From the very early stages of my healing journey, I realized I had to learn to forgive. I harbored so much pain, resentment, and anger towards my family. It didn’t just stop there; that type of toxic behavior touched my friendships, co-workers and at times complete strangers. I found it extremely difficult to carry so much animosity and not have it spill onto others.

Eventually, I was forced to make a life-changing decision. I could continue carrying the weight of my past or I could make a positive decision to heal from it. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. With hard work, perseverance, and determination I continued to practice forgiveness. I started with baby steps, forgiving others for being late, wrong food order and other random occurrences.

These small but important acts prepared me for more stressful acts of forgiveness. I began to have empathy as well as sympathy for others. Training myself to put me in the other person’s shoes. I imagined my day as an opportunity to forgive in hopes that if I wronged someone that they in return would have the compassion to forgive me. Learning to forgive as well as to ask for forgiveness.

I realize now that my lack of forgiveness was keeping me away from having meaningful relationships. It was hindering me from loving to my capacity, from reaching my maximum potential. This lack kept me in a state of anxiety, depression and I suffered many sleepless nights over it. Research shows that people who are forgiving have fewer health issues. I believe I was a stroke or heart attack waiting to happen due to the heavy burden that I was carrying.

FWord Project was born in 2019. It is a place for forgiveness or lack of are introduced through social media. It allows people to divulge their personal stories and experiences in order to reach people all over the world. Our goal is to have each and every reader learn from others’ forgiveness experiences and incorporate them into their daily lives. A lack of forgiveness is still a work in progress, an opportunity to address the issue. Each and every day every human being has the opportunity to forgive a situation. With that in mind, we can show others, love, compassion, and kindness.

Forgiveness is a type of language, and like all languages, they must be practiced daily in order to gain mastery. I ask each and every one of you to join me in becoming fluent in forgiveness.

FWord Project can be viewed on Fwordproject.com, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Please feel free to share your story with us!