I travel a ridiculous amount for my jobs, both nationally and internationally. Usually, I meet my team there and I lead them through all sorts of assignments as a journalist. Yet, the second I tell my family I’m going on vacation it’s like I’m back in high school.

“Con quien?” (Then follow-up questions because parents can never remember our friends’ names.)

“Cuando?”

“Y quien te dio permiso?”

I want to remind everyone here that I am a woman in my thirties, living under my own roof, and financially responsible for myself. Then I remember I’m an unmarried Latina and none of that really matters in our culture.

While I can spend this time ranting about how our traditional culture has unequal expectations of women versus men, the impossible standards women are held to, and the demand for women to place the needs of the family before their own, I won’t. We all know that. Instead, I offer you my methods that can help your overprotective Latino family come to terms with your vacation because there’s no way in hell you aren’t going.

Breaking The News

When I told my grandma I was going to be traveling alone in Guatemala for two weeks, she looked like she was going to faint, but I kept moving the conversation forward. I remained positive, reminding her that I was excited for such a fun vacation that allowed me to learn about our motherland and I was already solidifying my hotel stays and booking tours. This positioned me in charge of the narrative that the vacation was happening and booked; the conversation was just a courtesy.

I didn’t have to ask what her concerns were because my grandma was already listing off a dozen of them. I calmly and rationally validated her feelings of fear while reassuring her I was a smart and capable adult that had traveled to far more dangerous situations for work and excelled. When she mentioned I didn’t speak “fluent” Spanish, I reminded her I have a degree in Spanish and have been asked to translate for Latin American presidents. If they didn’t have an issue with my accent, I didn’t think the locals would mind, I told her.

My grandmother was also concerned about me wandering into dangerous neighborhoods in the capital city. This is where I pulled out a rough outline of where I was staying, sites I was visiting, flights I was taking, and numbers to each hotel. She could see that on that Wednesday at noon, according to the itinerary, I would be returning from a guided tour in Tikal to my hotel at the Jungle Lodge. There was a number for the reception. Anytime she had a question, I could point to the itinerary and tell her the exact plan.

Still, her rebuttal was that it was all just a plan in writing and things could go wildly wrong very quickly once there. This part of the conversation was the most important thing I did to quell her fears. I told her I had faith and so should she. I reminded her that I could plan all I wanted but I knew she had raised me to be safe and make good choices. I had faith that the Spanish that she ingrained in me since I was a toddler would get me along just fine. I also had a sense of peace going into the trip because I had faith in the locals from the place where she used to live half a century ago. Above all, I knew that God would keep me safe, and my guardian angels would watch over me. I had faith in myself, her, the locals, and God. That worked.

She hugged me as she cried saying she would be so worried about me for the entire trip she wouldn’t be able to bear it. I reminded her there was internet in Guatemala and I could just check in with her as many times as she needed. She hugged me hard again and came to accept that I was going alone.

Now, this talk happened a few months before but the day before I arrived, an earthquake hit Guatemala and she was a ball of stress all over again. I reminded her of everything we had previously discussed and told her I would check in. We checked in every morning and every night with either an emoji or message on Facebook Messenger. The times I fell asleep and forgot, I would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic to send a little heart icon before I gave my grandma a heart attack from worry. Next time, I’ll negotiate a check-in once every afternoon, but this was a good start.

Now when my relatives ask about me, my grandma brags about what an adventure I’m on and how fearless I am. Yet every once in a while, I still see a little heart icon pop up on Facebook Messenger from her when her concerns start to creep in. She kept up the habit of wanting to check in even when I’m not traveling. Now I just smile and send a little heart back so my grandma doesn’t worry about her fearless granddaughter and the fearless granddaughter doesn’t worry about worrying her grandma.

Remember:

• You are an adult
• You are a smart, capable person and can take care of yourself
• You have planned everything out and your family can follow the itinerary
• You have the option to check in with them during designated times
• You have travel insurance, registered your itinerary via STEP with the state department, have copies of your passport, have printed out confirmations of your hotel locations, tour details, help numbers, and the address of the U.S. embassy
• You worked hard to accomplish all you have, your family loves you, and you deserve to take a vacation you will enjoy