Boss pose….with a smile. ©Nicole Moreno-Deinzer

With so many strong female leads in the media, and more females in C-Level positions, you would think young women, or people in general for that matter, would realize that a woman can be a “boss” and be feminine at the same time.

But no, the media still displays powerful women to be scary bosses who wear black and are ALWAYS divorced. Seriously, if I watch one more show or read another book in which a woman, who is trying to be a “boss,” has a type-A personality and is divorced, I am going to crawl into a cave with my pretty pink dress on and read poetry with my husband.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to say women NEED to be married. What frustrates me is why can’t you be happily married, wear colorful dresses and be a boss? Why do I have to wear black to be taken seriously and sleep alone to show I am dedicated to my work? Women portrayed in the media who are super peppy, wear feminine clothing and are married are usually considered people with no goals and no brains. They are the powerful PTA moms, or the sister that is a stay-at-home mom.

In my last role at a literacy nonprofit, I was the co-worker who came to work in red heels and with heart printed dresses. It was seriously a cute outfit, guys. Try running after kids in heels, it takes some energy but builds amazing calf muscles.

How I dress as a boss. 🙂 © Nicole Moreno-Deinzer

I have always used the skills I gained as a Communication Studies major and my years of public speaking experience to get people to listen. I know how to change my tone and word choice, etc. I am not bragging, but just telling you that I am aware of how to get people’s attention and when I have lost their attention. I am not a bitch nor rude. In fact, I can talk about recruitment numbers with you,  one minute and then ask if you picked out the perfect wedding dress the next minute. I just carry myself with respect regardless of the color of my dress.

For example, one time my co-worker stated, “Nicole, you are always smiling and happy, but you are a boss. If you enter a room, people know you enter the room, but you walk in with your dress and boots.” I will be forever grateful for that insight,because it reassured me that my personal brand was being received correctly. Also, isn’t it nice to hear amazing compliments?

A great supporter

As you may know, I am happily married and I’ll gladly gush over my husband. Because…well…he is super cute and smart. I mean, have you not met him? Oh, you haven’t? Here is a picture. He is not a man trying to hold me down or take away my spirit.

Truthfully, being feminine has helped me in my career. People are more willing to talk to me and listen to me, because I am kind and don’t come off as a threat. Hello? Have you not heard of the saying, “you catch more bees with honey”? It’s very true. I am catching all the bees. 🙂

What I am trying to say is that you do not need a “work” you and “play” you. You are just you. We all have feminine and masculine traits. Own it. Don’t let it define who you should be. Don’t be afraid to wear dresses to work. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. Carry yourself with respect and dignity and others will see you that way too.

Hugs and Smiles,
Nicole